boredom

It's fun slacking around at home, doing nothing without the pressure of the feeling to rush things in order to get to work. It's refreshing to not have to face stupid customers, take their shit and still smile all the way through when all you want to to do is strangle them, maybe splash the bowl of scalding too-salty miso soup into their snotty, uppity faces, thinking they're so superior just because you're the one behind the counter serving them, and not the other way around. Some people only think that those who can't study end up having jobs like that. Dumb single-mindedness.

Anyway, since I'm not working anymore, no sense in bitching about it. I don't have to face such things again (not until I decide to go back to work, not that it's gonna happen. But it might.)

Second day of my resignation, and I'm already bored out of my mind. I'm halfway through Goong. And I can't possibly sit glued to my sofa the entire day, much less the rest of the two weeks before poly begins. Saying this now, I know I'll regret it when term starts because things will get so hectic I'll just wish I can sit around and do absolutely nothing. Meanwhile, I'll just try to enjoy the two weeks of supposed bliss and freedom and try not to get too fat in the process xP But I might get around to losing more weight when poly starts, considering the fact that my faculty building is located on a hill =.= But still, lets not make my job any harder and refrain from eating fast food.

Going out with Han Hui tomorrow to watch Number 3, starring Jim Carrey! I thought I'd be a horror flick at first, looking at the homepage of the movie, but watching the trailer (and seeing Jim Carrey) I think it'll actually turn out to be pretty good. Seems like it's a guy being obsessed with the number 23, up to the point of psychosis. Coolness. Anyway, he's still pretty good-looking for his age, so I don't mind. Whee. Can't wait for tomorrow. (Gosh, I'm sounding like I'm going on a date or something.)

Oh, and I've finally started on writing ABAL(II). Where I got my inspiration from, well, not really very nice to state here. Not that I found inspiration while I was shitting la. Truth be told, I got inspiration during sermon =X But hey, I still took down notes and I still paid attention to the pastor. Well, most of my attention was on the pastor anyways. I'm such a bad person.

And talking about church, I feel that I'm a hypocrite. But aren't we all? The majority of the population? Somehow, we all sin almost everyday, with or without knowing it. Feeling anger towards a person, feeling hatred, having wrong albit fleeting thoughts, it's all sin. Beginnings of it. Hate, anger and the like are normal human emotions, but sometimes they take such strong hold in us, become so deep-rooted in our lives that it becomes an obsession, taking precedence in our lives, such that we become oblivious to everything else happening around us, compelling us to sin even more.

No, I don't feel like I'm a hypocrite.

I am one.

And I want to change that. I don't know when I suddenly become so pious, but I think I'm getting a bit sick of feeling guilty when I am one person out of church, and another when I'm in it. Lord knows how many people like that are out in this world. But since I know that what I'm doing is wrong, might as well take hold of this problem and rectify it, before I do worse things. I'm not a good Christian, I never was one, but it wouldn't be too late to change now, right?

Maybe when I change, I can find the real me, to get to know who I really am. Get to know who and what God really wants me to be. God dictates whatever happens in our lives, right? Even if you're not a Christian, we all know that some other superior force is in control, and not us. If we really were in control, lives wouldn't be wiped out in a single earthquake or in a tsunami. If we were in control, we would be able to decide where, when and how we would die. We would be able to know when an accident would happen and be able to prevent it. But that's not happening, isn't it? Proof that a higher power exists and in my case, God exists.

I might turn out to be different, or I might still be the same, but help me, Lord, to be who you have decided for me to be. Everything in Your time, everything according to Your will. I'm lost and confused. Help me to live the righteous way and not be blinded by the pleasures of the flesh and such, to be tempted by sin. I know I'll fall sometimes, but You'll bring me back up to my feet, right?

I started out this post without any particular objective, and I end up writing so much =.=

Anyway, ABAL(II). I don't know how exactly it's gonna end up and I don't really have a plot to speak of, but I'll just make it up on the spot, just like I did with ABAL(I). I think it's gonna be fun. It should be (: Of course, I'll try to write as much as I can before term begins. I know I won't have much time when school's in session.

Time to go shower soon. It's not very often my blog entries are of such.. substance. LoLs.

God bless.